


冬

by Pyret1582



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, KAT-TUN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Gay Sex, M/M, Romance, Slice of Life, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-30
Updated: 2013-05-30
Packaged: 2017-12-13 11:35:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/823850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pyret1582/pseuds/Pyret1582
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>False signs from one person he's still loving while another bribes him of it all, romance a heart and everything he needs, whom will he choose in the end?</p>
            </blockquote>





	冬

**Author's Note:**

> It feels somehow my writing is back, and I haven't written something like this for ages- feels proud of myself and this story almost brought me too tears after finish it and its so many points I am proud of this... 
> 
> of course other people will pop up not to mention KAT-TUN ^^ 
> 
> Beta-Me- so if u find anything please tell me ^.^

**Like a mirage in the night, you left an answer for me…**

 

 

Cold eyes

The cold shoulder you gave me

I saw you walking away in this ever ending storm.

You left foot prints softly tapping down the road.

Our future entwined.

Two hearts tore apart.

How it came to cased?

 

\----- 

 

You ripped me open, tearing down the walls, every happy memory turned to a nightmare in a few mare seconds. 

“Jin!” Kame gasps painfully when he felt a pair of teeth nibbling down in his throat.

Afraid, he saw those eyes.

“Jin, please stop. I am not up to it…” Kame tried to push the heavier man away from him but he just growled and attacks his thin lips, giving it a rough kiss, biting and nipping and demanded entrance and Kame gasps in pure shock closing his eyes, giving in, surrendering. His shirts tears of the biting and nipping turns rougher and Kame’s silent plea couldn’t reached Jin’s fucked up brain.

It was the end of a point of no return.  

A muffled cry slipped out from his parted lips when his back hit something soft and more clothes shatters on the floor and dry fingers penetrate him. Teeth nips down rough and Kame gasps mumbling the plea he knew Jin would never hear.

“Jin, please…”

Jin was lost, lost in a sea of pleasure.

It hurt, every pulsating fiber tingled. His body shutting down as his fingers grabs a hold on those black strands of hair tugging at them painfully trying to give a hint for Jin’s madness.

Jin’s just moans as he demands those lips roughly back on his again.

A painful groan falls from his lips he tries to wiggle away from the assault, but Jin’s firm grip on him is steady and he lets him ravage him. His body shook in painful spams when Jin slams into him and he’s forced into another kiss with teeth nipping on his thin lips. A hand gabs under his knee lifting it up as a loud moan was heard and the sheets shatters on the bed and Kame closed his eyes drifting away, his body shutting down as he felt the brushing against his prostate and a groan that turned into a panting sound and warm sticky fluids filled him and he opens his eyes seeing the face above him drawn in ecstasy. Meeting those eyes that held no love, no care - the love was tainted where was the care that had turned cold.

Jin pressed a kiss against his neck and left him there on the bed. Kame hears he doesn’t need to see when garment’s finds their place on the body again and the footsteps that left him in the cold and the sound of his apartment door opening and closing and the silent whine from Ran.

A cold nose pressed against his cheek and he smiles at his dog.

Dirty and used he finds the remaining strength inside him to venture into the bathroom to wash the raw feeling away from him, and the whining of his dogs didn’t help.

 

\-----

 

_~He doesn’t know when it started, he tries to look back – remember when things went wrong. When did they stop falling out of love, and Jin started to use his body to his own advantage – for pleasure and Kame had stopped hoping._

_“Do you love me?”_

_The answer never came.~_

“Coffee?”

Kame blinked finally hearing the rain which was pouring down quite heavily and he was brought back to reality.  

Kitamura was standing there a bit drenched but an umbrella had found its way over his head and the tiny form of a AD behind him: the little form you could spot.

Kame couldn’t avoid the smirk that was plaster on the elder’s face and Kame nods while the older turns around whisper something to his AD – and then his ass gets inside the car closing the door behind him inviting himself.

Kazuya raised an eye-brow and Kitamura opens his mouth, closing it again.

“It’s okay, right?” As he pointed at the closed door – he had just invited himself and Kazuya smiled. ‘Dork’

“Of course it is…”

Two cups of coffee was made, taking refuge inside the warm car was a better opinion then getting soaked and a warm cup of coffee made his stomach tingling.

“Well we’ll see how long this technology wants to work with us instead of against us…” The older spoke with a smile on his lips.

“Yes…” Kame chuckled beside him as he watches the crew running forth and back in the rain, trying to solve the problem at hand.  

Kitamura glance over the younger, eying him from where he’s sipping on the coffee, seeing those distance eyes: reading them like an open book, he had seen that look the same look was resting in his wife’s eyes.

A lost case.

A lost love.

“Are you gonna be okay?”

Kazuya blinks turning his head looking at the older actor with mouth almost hanging slightly open.

“Wha-?”

“Will you be okay, answer me truly.”

How, he didn’t know.

“I don’t know, someday yes…”

He tightens his hold around the warm cup.

“Did you love him…”

Kazuya blinks reacting at the ‘him’ part, somehow Kitamura knew and he can’t help but to nod, opening up little by little, and he had the feeling that Kitamura knew more then he barging for.

“He didn’t love you…You deserve someone that loves you…” Kitamura whispered and Kazuya smiles.

“You deserve it too…”

Kitamura blinks, but his face expression hadn’t gone unnoticed for the younger man, he opens his mouth wanting to say something but AD’s showed up: telling the problem at hand was solved, but thanks to the heavy rain they finds themselves inside the warmth and filming for another scene.

 

-Two souls troubled by the same reason

 

\---- 

 

“Maybe you should give him a chance?”

Kazuya paused in his packing of his clothes and looks up, at Maru the oldest standing there; never involve in their private life. But Maru standing there giving advice.

“Maybe ‘he’ will give the love you seek…”

Taking a long breath, they have just finished filming the PV for Birth it was time to head home, sleep some odd hours before heading back to filming.

“Maybe…” Kame whispers as Nakamaru smiles patting Kame’s back.

“Let you fall for someone that can give you what you seek.”

Those eyes sparkle when Kame stepped out in the spot light in his Bemu dress and silver hair and he smiled at the older, even knowing he played Natsume but a ‘he’ was still there but a child giggle pulled him from his trance. 

-A moan echoes in the silent apartment, the traffic light illuminates the shadows and litting up two moving shapes upon the bed, teeth scraping against fragile skin.

“Forget him…” A silent whispers echoes into an ear before a tongue flicker out drawing the bud inside teasing lips.

A grunt as his world consumed him and he forgets, drawing away the teasing mouth letting their lips dancing as his hips made the answer for him as the older thrusts his hips back as a sign of what the younger wanted.

“I can give you what you seek…”

Kame closes his eyes, knowing the very answer inside his heart. He didn’t need to ask for the word love, he had it in his palm of his hand.

“I love you…” He whispers and those old eyes watch him and a gentle kiss tingled upon his lips.

He didn’t need the word doubt anymore, no escaping.

A shudder raked the lithe body when a palm pumped the sensitive flesh to full erection, letting the clothes find their way to the floor and fingers found the space where clothes had been and a pair of legs fitted perfect over delicate hips.

A long intake of breath was holding him whole and those lips kissing him everywhere were they could reach kept him sane enough to be still on this planet.

A car horn honked somewhere in the night.

Hips danced and wove of love blossomed in the night.

Kame’s fingers tears up small wounds as whole body tensed up and he released a whine as fingers strokes him teasingly unfair.

“Let go…”

His body tenses as it shivers releasing a moan he spurts white warm seed over his stomach and the tut one above him feeling his body glow in bliss and the weight from the other man that flopped down on him made him sigh content as his fingers lazily cares up and down over glistering skin.

“Let me give you what you seek…”   

 

 

**-I just need a thrill tonight I need a thrill**   
**Giri giri no joukyou ja nakya ajiwaenai Kouyoukan**

 

\----

 

 

You.

Standing outside my door at this raging hours and even not my glare could scare you away.

“What do you want?”

You look at me with those puzzle eyes like obvious I shall know what you wanted, but not today.

“Leave…” Kame drawls with a hiss and just wants to shut the door in the bastard’s face that ruined his heart which was crushed too millions of tiny pieces and he kept on believing on false hope.

But it sparked somewhere inside his darkness.

There was still a little light burning.

That burning in those eyes and the body don’t budge by his warning.

A pair of rough demanding lips on his and fingers gripping his arms tight as he gets dominated and pushed further inside the apartment and the door swung shut behind them.

A protesting whine escapes his lips, but the grips just tightens and he feels the bed under his back, lips nips rough on his under lip, fingers unzipped him and a palm found its way inside the warmth and Kame of course needed to bite down a moan. His body betraying him, Jin knew exactly how to touch him, the small shivers that coarse through his body.

“I wanna hear you…”

It was a sin.

His senses betraying him and he moans shamelessly, cursing his betraying body, cursing Jin for his false signs.

His confusing body languish what do you wanna tell me?

His body shudders when two fingers slips out of him and he’s a panting mess, his rosy red lips open in a slightly pant and his eyes met Jin’s steal eyes that contain no emotion, just raw beastly power.

“Jin…” Kame helplessly say seeing Jin twitching, like he was afraid of something and Kazuya wants to reach out to chase the nightmare away.

But Jin’s mind is too far away to reach and Kazuya can’t do anything but to close his eyes and let Jin take what he wants for the moment, he’s there like a comforting blanket, letting the wounded animal pleasure himself. If only Kazuya could turn back the clock and find the hidden detail. He closes his eyes wrapping his legs around a pair of rolling hips and something thicker filled him as a moaning pant was heard from the older and Kazuya just want to reach out, lay his palm against the cheek, find out the truth, but he pulls the lost case into a deep loving kiss. Tasting the lips licking over the plump lips prolonging the kiss as he mumbles three words against them and he feels the body above him stiffen.

“I love you Jin…” He says firmly and those eyes stares so intensely on him, frozen in time the clock turning and the body starts to move quicken its pace, ponding into the lithe smaller body and Kame is lost and he’s choking back tears as his eyes stares into the wall lost in another time.

-A body falls atop of his and Kazuya blinks feeling the stickiness inside him, the substance dripping down on the bed and he’s pulled back to reality and he makes a face as he shifts around and his abusing hole makes a protesting ache, but his eyes is glue to the heaving form beside him, the sweat covered chest those lidded eyes. Bed covers ruffled and the body moves getting up, Jin leaves with no word, no sign that he cares. Pouty brown sad eyes watches him dress and Jin leaving quietly with a cig in his mouth and the apartment door closes softly and Kame let’s his tears fall.

Cursing and knowing Jin just took what he wanted and Kame had another problem at hand, but no so energy for it, but he manage to stumble towards the bathroom to wash away the abusing signs and take care of another problem.

-To come undone

 

**\- To find myself in such a cruel cruel world**   
**And nobody gets me**   
**Nobody gets me**

 

\----- 

 

“Do you love me?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

Those older eyes that watching him with so much warm and care and Kame wanted to believe it just for a moment, fingers cares his cheek as lips claimed. Kame moans closing his eyes in pure bliss but also remember where he was and he puts his palms on the chest and pushes the older man away.

“Not here…”

“Tell me, what are you afraid of?” Kazuki whispers, feeling that something was wrong, that something else bothers the younger man’s mind.

Kitamura sighed knowing Kame would tell him in time.

“Come let’s get back to the set…” But those eyes watch him in wonder something twitching behind that twisted mind.

A hand clasps around his wrist.

“Stay with me tonight…” And Kazuki couldn’t say ‘no’.

-Kitamura fallowed Kame after the filming and Kame cooked, Tempura served with red wine. Kitamura of course pressed a loving kiss on top of Kame’s forehead before settling down on the dinner table. Kame smiled as he joins him and Kitamura takes the first taste full and it tastes wonderful – no doubt Kazuya could cook. He takes a sip of the rich red wine.

“It tastes wonderful…”

“Thank you” Kame says confidently.

Their evening progress with small chatter as they lean on the balcony and a sweet loving kiss filled the night and Kame feels his heart thumping with a jump.

He was afraid and he knew Kazuki felt that.

But the older just deepen the kiss his warm hand sneaked under Kame’s shirt feeling the warm skin underneath and a small moan pressed between the rosy lips.

“Trust me…” Kazuki whisper and Kazuya does, letting his worries wash ashore.

Their forms left the balcony and as their feet moves lips messy from kisses as clothes dropping across the floor and Kame just lets him feel, coming to a halt he gets softly pushed down upon his welcoming bed and blinking up dazed and sees Kazuki’s teasing smile.

The older climbs in enfolding Kame drawing him closer and his lips was on those tender lips again and Kame rubs closer liking the warmth which he was enfold in and a leg traps him there in the hold his head placed on an arm their bodies turned to each other.

Kiss after kiss and Kazuya didn’t want it to stop his abusing lips didn’t wanna to quite but his eye lids grows heavier and heavier and his heart beats so calm. The lips landed eventfully on his forehead.

“Sleep…”

Kame was afraid.

“Will you be here when I wake up?”

“Yes…” And Kazuya smiled as they manage to find their way underneath the covers and one last kiss was pressed on those rosy abused lips and Kazuya entwines his fingers with longer ones and let the fist rest upon a beating heart.

Kagami no naka furimuku senaka wa te wo nobashitemo tsukamenai reality  
Ah hitosu dake hitori dake kono sugata wo  
Ore ga dare ka dare ga ore ka yuzurenai "ima" motome tsudzukete  
  
“-Look at him he looks a bit devastated…”

Kame heard them mumble this is what he had heard almost all morning since he arrived, but his morning had been all worth it, the prolonging kisses in the hallway ending with him shooing the older out of the apartment and a promise of seeing each other.

“Kame, what’s on your mind?”

Kame chuckled at the question, his heart being torn into two pieces and he wonders that himself.

“Just something I have to sort out myself…”

“So you don’t want any help?” Koki asks and gives Maru a glance.

Maru blinks and nods.

“Sorry guys, but I don’t wanna involve you…”

“Aren’t we already pulled in?” Maru mention with a sigh as he sat down on the couch shifting Kazuya’s legs so they lay on his lap.

“I guess…” He mutters as he closes his eyes and wonder where he shall begin.

“So how are things between you and Jin?” Koki ask blunt, straight forward wondering, still clueless of what happen that day, but knowing Jin didn’t love the turtle anymore seemed true. Kame froze upon hearing those words which Maru sensed.

“He… He rather throws me over his shoulder and then leaves me on the floor…”

“He’s using you?” Koki acknowledge.

“If that’s to put it, yes…” Kazuya sigh, knowing the truth would turn up sooner or later.

“I’m gonna kill him.” Koki mutters.

“I beat him to a pulp…” Ueda spoke with a slightly anger look in his eyes that twitched and Kame smiled.

“Don’t worry. I have him under control…” Kame stated the fact; well he had, well almost.

“Kame-chan, he’s raping you…” Koki growls and Kazuya just looks into his eyes, with that look.

“Don’t Koki, I can handle him.”

“A part of you still loves him…” Maru said as he cares Kame’s calf, which throbs a little after the effort they put up with during today’s dance practice.

A shameless nod comes from the younger.

“I’ll always love him…”

“Kame-chan…”

“Hush, Koki, Jin loves me somewhere behind his twisted mind, He’s just afraid to admit it, even if our future is ruined, he can never have it back its shattered broken, he knows it he just need to realize it himself and once he does, he will stop…” Kame closes his eyes, suddenly so exhausted.

“But what about Kitamura-kun?” Yuichi doesn’t stop his thin long fingers massaging the muscle, like an impulse.

“Better. He’s patient, loving and already romantic…” Chuckled fallow as Kazuya shivers from the older’s ministrations.

“Then maybe he can chase Jin away…”

“Kame he can’t just use you as a toy and toss aside when he’s through with you…” Koki growls as his eyes flares.

And Kazuya had never thought of that, but if his band mates where to see a certain Akanishi he knew that man would face their doom of wrath. 

If Kitamura succeeds.

“If he manages to claim my heart…”

“Then we’ll see it done…” Koki growls, so Jin could step back once Kame had a boyfriend.

 

\---

 

“This is wonderful. Really you didn’t need too…” Kazuya hummed happy around a piece of fried chicken.

“Yes I did, consider I am more than happy to be able to serve this dinner…” Kitamura tells with a warm smile as he raises the red wine towards his date.

He had kidnapped Kazuya’s keys, invited himself and taken over his kitchen right before he the younger came home, and Kazuya had known idea how the older had manage, though it seemed it happen somewhere along the filming hours.

Kame chuckled at the irony.

“Thank you for this opportunity.”

Kame giggles, his heart beat quicken thumping louder.

Falling.

He was falling and their eyes met.

_“Let me give you what you seek.”_

Those words were still hanging on a thin line inside his head.

“No, thank you for making me feel again…” Kame tells him and Kitamura smiles back, having the answer he was seeking.

“I love you Kazuya.”

And for once Kazuya could say the same.

“I love you too…”

He had made his choice.

Kazuki wanted to open his mouth to say something but their peaceful atmosphere was interrupted by a knock on the door. Kazuki frowned and Kame blinked and he sighs as he stands up slinking away from the table to investigate who had ruined this romantic moment.

“Jin, bad timing…”

So it was Akanishi who had interrupted them, maybe, then maybe he should go and say ‘good evening’ He hears the raised voices from the hallway and Kazuya’s worried scared voice was clenching his heart. Clearly the younger didn’t want ‘him’ there.

“Jin this is not a good time…”

“But Kazuya…”

“Akanishi-san, you can leave…”

Jin blinked when he saw the older man coming with a firm define voice and defensive stance.

This was the picture he was getting. Kame a toy Jin could just use and throw away after he was done with him, and he would defend his turtle no matter what and Kame, Kazuya had chosen him, opened his eyes no matter how much he still loved Jin.

“Jin, leave…” Kame said in a tired voice, giving up, he could talk to Jin when he had the energy and clearly the ‘no’ didn’t reach the older.

“So, now when you’re tired of me, you move to the next…”

“Jin, get lost, I will talk with you when you have more reason inside your head…” Kame huffed out pointing down the hallway, raising voices would involve neighbor’s curiosity and Kame was exhausted to deal with that, even if he knew they wouldn’t call the tabloids that he had a drawl with a certain Akanishi during the late evening, he just didn’t want to deal with him now. 

“I’m not your puppet Jin…”

Jin gives Kitamura a challenging look.

“Akanishi-san, leave.”

“So, you have managed to sweep Kazuya of his feet…”

“Akanishi-san, you heard Kame, leave.”

Akanishi wanted to confront and Kitamura wanted to take the blow, protect Kame even if he knew the younger could very well do it himself, but his body languish said something else.

“Jin leave, I’ll talk to you.” Kame met Jin’s glare.

“Just leave…”

Jin mumbled something and still looked challenging at the older before he turned around and left.

Kazuya sighs in relief, glad to skip the worst of the confrontation, but knew this wasn’t over.

“I don’t think that’s the last we saw of him…”

Kame who turns around with a lost look in his eyes and he lets Kitamura pull him and he cuddles towards the comfort and rests his forehead against the fit chest hearing the drumming of the heartbeat.

“He’s challenging you…”

“I know, but don’t let him patronize you…” As he pulls the younger closer pressing a kiss upon the head among the locks.

“Come… don’t let Akanishi ruin the rest of the night.” 

Kazuya giggled the butterflies fluttering in his stomach as he felt a warm hand clench around his pulling back towards the kitchen.

 

\----

 

“So how did your date go?” Koki brush the question with a playful glint in his eyes.

Kame giggled, but he smiled.

“Wonderful – interrupted by a certain Akanishi - and then it turned to more wonderful and sweeter it couldn’t get…”

“Let me guess you left him there in your bed this morning?” Nakamaru said as he entered the conversation.

“After the good morning messy kisses…” Kame smirked.

Koki blinks.

“Kame…” And he smacks the youngest lightly over the head and the turtle obvious pouted.

“You two are just wonderful… I’m glad…”

“Yea, I just hoped Jin could see that…” Kame sighs as he starts to change his attire into something more comfortable.

“Did he try anything funny?” A frown appears on a worried Koki.

“No, well except challenging Kitamura-san…”

“Bakanishi all right…”

“Guys, not that I’m asking, but could you guys maybe help telling him off?”

Those pleading eyes had never looked so pleading before and Ueda which had listen nodded from across the room.

“I can help you gladly; I can even put my fist in his face if needed too…”

Kame smiled as he pats Koki on the shoulder.

“Thanks guys…”  

He had KAT-TUN with him, and he knew the meaning of true friendship, companionship and the word ‘family.’

His phone was ringing, or more likely vibrating with incoming call, and he had counted it was the third call in a row.

He knew who, he hadn’t given up. Kame sighs pulling of his sweaty T-shirt and ignored the incoming call.

“Answer…” Koki said.

Kame blinked and looked at Koki.

“You can’t ignore him forever, invite him to dinner and we’ll be there…”

“Then I can punch his pretty face in…” Ueda mutters.

Kame smiled as he pulls of the rest of his remaining clothes and tugs off his towel from the hock and walks inside the shower area, ignoring Jin for the moment. Well their date would feel a bit awkward. Not to mention talking about his love life with the rest of the members and brining Kitamura into this more than necessary. Leaning against the wall, he could do this.

“It will be fine, Kame-chan…” Like could read his trouble mind.

Kazuya closes his eyes, hoping.

  
\----- 

 

The heavy smell of food made his stomach grumble and a pair of worried eyes watched him as they made their way to the VIP area.

Getting Jin here hadn’t been the problem, after two days of ignoring him but getting him to give up was another story.

“I’m just hungry no need to worry…” Kazuya sighs under his breath to Koki as they open a door.

Koki who had stood by and watch Kame-chan all day, his friend had left his plate untouched, to lost somewhere else and Nakamaru’s attempt to get the younger to eat was forfeit.

“It will go fine, Jin have to listen.” Koki tells him, hopping that Kame would be interesting in the subject call food this evening.

“He has to, I don’t wanna pull Kitamura-san into more trouble than I’ve already done, or you guys…” Kame sighs before he opens the door.

“I happily comply, so don’t worry about us…” Koki laid a hand on his shoulder, the younger shouldn’t had ask as he escort him inside and Kame stilled in his steps when his eyes met Jin’s intense glare that was boring holes into his brown eyes that contain his vulnerability.    

“So did your boyfriend decided to run and hide?” Jin mocks from where’s sitting.

Kame just glares.

“Jin, cut it out, ‘he’ will arrive as the rest of the band will…” Koki bits out as he takes a place at the table and a waiter gets in to ask if they wanted to order something whole waiting for the remaining company.

“Red wine for me…” Kame tells him with a sweet voice as he also sat down around the round table, knowing Jin’s eyes didn’t leave him unnoticed.

The door closes, a sign that the waiter had left and Kame returns Jin’s stare with his own, giving him a hard look before he outer.

“Do I have something in my face?”

“You’ve gained weight…” Baffled and a bit shocked Jin narrows his eyes.

“Thank you for making that statement…” The younger scoffs forth.

“Well, why wonder when he has a boyfriend who takes care of him…” Koki mutters under his breath.

Kazuya heard it, lucky Jin didn’t so he nudged Koki at the side for him to contain his words to himself.

“What but its true…” Koki whispers to him, and the gesture had Jin raising an eye-brow.

“Yea, it is, but don’t endanger Jin more then he already is…” Kame hushed back.

Jin gulped down sips of his beer obvious knowing they talked about him, behind their hushed voices; angry wasn’t the word to describe him with more like pissed off.

How dare he, how dared the turtle shield himself behind the armor that was KAT-TUN, but knowing them they wanted to protect the younger no matter what, but dragging them down with him and of course they were there to protect him.

The door opens and Jin glares openly against Kitamura that was in a discussion with Yuichi, and Kitamura’s fought against the urge to kiss Kazuya right there in front of Jin, to show him whom was in charge, like he held the power over the younger; which he knew of course and doing in front of Jin, didn’t seem like the best idea endanger him even more then he already were.

So he just sat down quietly  but first throwing a polite greeting and Jin grumble it back but Koki was more forward and encourage the older into a conversation and somehow Jin was left out to pounder over his thoughts trying to remember where the wrong point had turn.

Where the false step was taken.

“Well Kazuya you seem to enter with an army behind you…”

“Kazuya didn’t even ask for us, for we wanted to be here, so you wouldn’t throw your stupid remarks at two certain persons…” Koki told him almost with a growl- even of the younger did ask, but they wouldn’t have made any difference.

And Jin didn’t even get to open his mouth to resources back when the door open and the lost members of KAT-TUN entered and Jin felt outnumbered.

“Have you ordered?” Ueda asked who was in fact famished and Kazuya shocked his head answering his question with a smile.

“No we’re waiting for everyone…”

“Which is obvious here, or are you waiting for some other knight in shining armor?” Jin retorts back.

“Jin, that’s enough…” Kame growls and the poor waiter almost wants to jump out of skin when he heard that tone from the young leader of the band but just stood there patiently waited for things to calm down before approaching on the matter do discus food for tonight.  

“You don’t need an army to explain your deeds… it’s enough with you, you could have made a call talk things out with me…”

“Like that would’ve helped it didn’t at my door step so why would you listen to me now?” Kame almost screams but a hand on his arm held him back and Koki turns his eyes filled with defense shining in them.

“Jin, like we said we’re not here for Kame’s sake, but for our own and for you to understand something important like you don’t seem to do…” Koki growls stepping between them, or more like acting like a wall, lucky the table was between him and their former band mate.

Jin fumes as he sits down again and the shaky waiter approaches carefully and somewhat he had a voice asking what they wanted to eat and he chose what seemed like the most calmest person in the room, Junno just flash him a smile and takes the order and Kame chuckled. Poor bastard but he knew that this would kept secret from the press, which made him breathe a bit easier and Koki’s calm hand on his knee made him relax and the waiter left them and his eyes met Jin’s and he wished he could read that mind, on what Jin was thinking, he could do it once and he wished he could do it again, it was once he could read his best friend like an open book, but those days were gone.

“What went wrong?”

Kame sighs.

“Maybe you should ask yourself that…”

“I love you Kame…”

The stone was dropped, those words was out, those three simple words and Kame smiles faintly almost laughing inwardly.

“A bit late for that now I think…”

“It’s never too late…” 

“Akanishi, Kame is tired of playing your puppet, its time you let him go and find yourself what you need, it’s not Kame, it never will be…” Yuichi lets up.

“I need him…”

“Then you’ve showed the false signs…” Kitamura spoke up.

“Who asked for your opinion?” Jin growls out his eyes challenging as ever a fire burning in his eyes.

“Fighting over me won’t help Jin, I made my choice it’s time for you to move on, let me go.”

Jin wants to stand up and fight for the younger, to say that he is ‘his’, but he knows that Kame doesn’t love him any longer somewhere along the line he knew but he just couldn’t accept it he shuts his mouth when the waiter came in starting to deliver out their food and refilling on drinks and leaving them in peace.

“Kame…” Jin whines.

“No Jin, I made my choice wouldn’t had killed you to outer those words once in a while and actually caring for me as a lover, not as a toy!” Kame didn’t care that the rest of his band mates were sitting there.

“I’m sorry…” Jin cringed hiding in an armor of minds.

“Bit late for that…” Kame puts a piece of meat into his mouth and the tense silence eats it way at the members and Kitamura is stricken between go to hug his now so called boyfriend or just say something but he opens the mouth on the issue on KAT-TUN’s latest projects and the members happily openly talked about it and Jin and Kame was just gazing at each other quietly a few seconds before Kame was pulled into the conversation and laughing at something stupid Junno said.

Jin felt like an imprisoner so he stood up and left and Kame looked after him and after he gave squeeze on Koki’s arm to ensure him that he will take it he walked after Jin.

“So I should just give up…” Jin says litting up a smoke leaning against the wall outside the restaurant.

“Yea…”

“So it’s this really damage beyond repair?”

Kame stands beside him leaning against the wall.

“No, I’ll not stop caring about you, but you need to give up on the idea of me and you together Jin, if only you could’ve said those words earlier then maybe it would’ve been on the edge to repair…”

“I love you, I’m just stupid to not see it sooner…”

Kame chuckled- somehow feeling like a fool for outer those words- but he had loved the baka, why was everything so fucked up?

“I’m sorry…” Kame tells him.

“He’s treating you to well, you deserve him, even if he’s stands like my challenger but I wish you both luck…” Jin grumbles the last part as he lets smoke out his eyes still lingering in the distance.

“Thank you, that’s more than I can hope for…”

“I know there’s no point to keep holding onto false hope…” Jin lets the smoke rise towards the darken sky.

“But thank you Jin it’s more than I could hope for…”

“But I won’t stop fighting over you… but not in this kind of way…” Jin smirks a bit and Kame pokes him playfully.

“Challenge accepted…” Kame chuckled.

“Just promise me one thing…” Jin tells him.

“What?”

“Give me another chance if Kitamura leaves you…”

Kazuya chuckled and held those eyes.

“Promise.”

“Let’s get inside the other misses you.” Kame speaks a bit later looking up on the darken sky breathing in the evening air with a sigh- hoping that his steps would feel lighter.

Even after all of this, KAT-TUN still loved ‘him’- Jin and he would always carry an after mirage.

Jin lets the smoke hit the ground and both of them returns inside beside each other.

Even if Jin would never stop fighting, never stop fighting over his love. Kame saw a new light inside the baka, the person he had loved once, a small part of him was back.

“So how do things on your end go?” Kame asked as they stepped inside the filled chattered room seemed like the others didn’t seemed to notice they were back and the atmosphere seemed brighter and lighter then before.

“Just fine, well except that stupid me finds out he’s in love with his best friend…”

“That’s must be rough…” Kame chuckled.

“Yea, he doesn’t love me back…” Jin pouts.

“Baka I love you, not just like that…” Kame playfully hits him-but a part of him would always love the baka, but his eyes met a pair of old ones and his heart thumped a beat and he smiles.

“I’ll let you go, its shows in your eyes…” Jin whispers as he walks towards his seat taking a place and Kame felt like a fool and Koki’s obvious grin almost made him blush.

“So when’s the marriage?”

-Goodbyes were whispered and a promise of seeing each other again, the weight lifted from one person’s shoulders where life would make it much easier. Jin pulls the youngest into a hug, he would never give up.

And everything felt lighter now, like something was brushed of his shoulders, he head somehow managed to rebuild the friendship, but step by step and it would be easier.

“I’ll never give up…”

“I know you’re Bakanishi after all…” Kame smirks as he bids farewell to his band mates and promise of seeing them tomorrow when everyone would be high on work mood again, ‘waving’ to them all he entwines his fingers with Kitamura and strolls away.  

\---

“I want you to make love too me.” Kazuya wraps his body around the taller thin body pressing a loving kiss at the temple as the door closed behind him hiding them away from the world.

Kitamura gasps but smiles as he leans down somehow and manage to press his lips against the turtles while the turtle was clinging to his body and somehow they manage to find their way inside the bedroom letting the clothes drop upon the floor and the dogs did the right thing by skitter away not being in the warzone.

Kazuya lands upon the futon naked as a new born baby pulling Kitamura with him letting their lips draw into a sloppy but loving kiss. His skin tingled and a body envelope him and he feels the strength the older possessed, he was careful and curious he had seen it all before, but now the younger gives himself completely so it was new boundaries that needed to be crossed. His weight made Kame feel safer and he moans when a pair of sinful hips thrusts against his awaking sensitive flesh and he shivers with a moan on his lips.

“I love you…” The older whispers as fingers sneaks down letting the lithe body underneath him bend a little so he could reach the nectar and let two slick fingers begins to soften up the muscles and he drowns the mewl with his tongue who ends up in a battle for domination. The body underneath him squirmed in a shivering mess and the moan that the younger couldn’t contain that moan when he brushes against the bundle of nerves.

“I’m ready… Just please…” Kame mewls against the lips his dazed lust filled eyes looking into the man he gave himself too who he gave his heart for and not just his heart his soul.

Nails cuts down on skin when he feels him being filled his muscles stretching to the point it hurts a bit and his whole body tremble but also for the pleasure that coarse through his veins and he closes his eyes pulling the man into a deep sloppy wet kiss.

“Don’t stop, just keep going…” He moans in a wheeze clenching his legs around the hips pushing himself down on the hard cock shivering and smirks when he hears the older moan against his lips and their movies moved in perfect rhythm and Kame was lost in senses running havoc he was lost in this endless dance, he groans as fingers cares down sweat cover skin his legs tighten around the moving hips and he arches his back releasing a moan when teeth scraps against his neck.

And he learns to feel again. 

**-Kodoku na kono sekai mo don’t cry mewo sora sa nai**   
**Kawaki kaketa yume ga mezameru together**   
**Haruka tooku hanareta basho demo wakaru hazusa always**   
**Todoke light my fire**

 

“I love you…” The older whispers feeling just as lost.

“I love you too…” Kazuya whispers entwining his fingers letting them rest upon his breathing heart and he wonders how he will make it through.

 

 

**That day that our fingertips touched was one  
This season that I met you in passes by**

 

 

 

“So I got your call…” Kitamura-san said as he took a seat on a chair and gives the man sitting in front of him a smile.

“So I noticed and no I am not here to steal you away from Kame, nor nag you to leave him…” Jin gives the older one a reassuring smile.

“I thought you would give more of a fight, actually not letting Kame slip from your fingers…” Kitamura raises an eye-brow in a bit of wonder.  

“I thought about it, but no its worth to wait, I can wait for eternity if I have too, and Kame loves you, it’s not easy to miss, he needs someone who looks after him, who pulls him up when he’s down, someone who says those three simple words I just said them too late. Ne, take care of him…”

Kitamura smiles and nod as a promise was settle.

“I will and yea that man tendency to let work swallow him, but at least he’s healthy…” Kitamura says, and ads in his mind ‘not to mention the tut muscles’

“Yea that’s our Kame-chan all right…” Jin chuckles seeing his order was put down in front of him.

“All I just wanted to say is good luck, I am fine with the friendship and well things will never be as they were before, but I am happy with what I have now…”

“Yea that turtle still loves you Jin no matter how much you want to deny it…”

\---

Kazuya noticed the door opens, his dogs was already running towards it barking happy when they noticed the familiar scent, and the younger smiled from where he was perched on the couch with papers all around him, lyrics on songs they were going to sing, planning for their new album, and not to mention their upcoming concert.

“Tadaima Kazu- guess who called me and wanted to snatch a quick lunch?” Kitamura came in with Jelly in his arms that were happily licking his face.

Kame looks at him his glasses rested on the tip of his nose, his hair pulled into a phony tail with an frown on his face at the question.

“Umm no, whom? Koki, Maru?” His band mates couldn’t keep their paws of his new found boyfriend and always wanted them to hang around with him- and dragging poor Kazuya into the picture. But his band members loved every minute of it and Kitamura loved every second of it and somehow they’ve manage to duck away from the tabloids so long it was a secret and Kame would keep it in his palm so long he could.

The world could wait.

“Jin-kun…”

Kame blinked hearing the information right, as his lover took a seat in the armchair and Jelly escaped running after Ran finding something that seemed to entertain them.

“What did he want?”

“To tell us luck, he seems to give up, but as I know he still loves you…”

Kame chuckled.

“Yea that will never chance, I guess…”

Kitamura stands up pressing a kiss on top of Kame’s hair.

“Have you eaten?”

Kame smiled and nods.

“Yea, left over from yesterday and what’s to dinner oh so my boyfriend would cook?”

“I will, I just need to shop the ingredients…”

“Then go, I still need to finish this up; then we can have our romantic dinner…” Kame smiled as he tugs his lover down by the hem of the shirt and gives him a longing kiss feeling his skin tingling. Kitamura smiles into the kiss as he hums.

“I will look forward to it…” He gives Kame a last longing kiss before he strolls towards the bedroom to change before he heads off to shop and the adding wine Kazuya had found some days ago would just go perfect with his plan on dinner. 

“Koki wants to snatch us away tomorrow on a karaoke night with the rest of the band…” Kazuya mention before his lover could run off and of course Kitamura chuckled.

“They don’t leave us in peace do they?”

“Not my fault you get along with them just fine…” Kame shouts back as he sticks his tongue out and hears the groan from Kitamura who has just put on his shoes.

“I hate you…” He winks before he walks out the door to prepare for a perfect evening.

“No just right the opposite…”

 

A Last good bye on these steps to the future...

Sakura blossoms in the spring weather.

A winter wind will always carry my memories.

But also crate new ones with this embrace of summer.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments makes my day <3


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